vegan plague

mad scientist creates plague
men now allergic to meat
vegans cheer!
the world is saved

cottage cheese whipped
the front of the boat
jettisonned in frenzy
but no-one even thought
what about the fish

IV the casein
deep seated emotional relief
whips off her tongue like
an underage pornstar
do you need it?

she sinks to the bottom
with the rest of them
my god.
they're all junkies

black eye

Reuben was walking to McDonald's after some beers at the Lass, and passed a group of people. Three of them were shouting things like ``what do you have a knife for?'' at the other one. Reuben attempted to calm the knife-guy down; which worked, by some fluke of dice. As he was calming knife-guy down though, another guy sprinted towards Reuben, taking him unaware with a smack on the face. Reuben hit the ground, and knife-guy helped him up.

They went to McDonald's and knife-guy was refused entry. Reuben got his uber-bacon-burger just fine though, and headed home.